Submitted for your approval. I looked at a few Comanche's before buying my twin, and had an interesting experience that I thought I would share. The journey starts out with me ferrying a plane from several states away back to my home state of N.J. for a pre-buy inspection. In short, I could not come to terms with the owner and the plane had to be returned . And this is where Rod Sterling would say, 'we are about to enter the Twilight Zone'. I decided to hire an out of state ferry pilot. Why - because it was inexpensive (Mistaaaake!!!) . On the day the plane was to be ferried back, I called the airport (from work) and asked if the plane had left - it did. I got back to my responsibilities, and expected all would go well. Later that evening I got a call from the owner asking where the plane was. I told him I didn't know what time it departed, but he should arrive shortly. I went to sleep early that evening, and the next day I noticed I had several calls from the stressed out owner on my cell - THE PLANE NEVER SHOWED UP!! I panicked - was there a crash? Was the airplane stolen? Later that day we found out the ferry pilot left the plane 20-miles away due to weather - strange, as the weather was supposed to be severe clear. A few days later the owner went to pick up his Comanche, and what he found was incredible. The interior was a mess! It looked like John Belushi had a frat party in the plane. There were potato chips strewn all over the cabin. There was oil stained finger prints on the panel. The ferry pilot apparently enjoyed chewing tobacco and left a spit jar on the floor. He missed the jar a few times and there was tobacco stains on the floor and leather seats. Speaking of stains, there were unidentified yellow stains in the plane - yes, he was carrying a "little john". (Clearly he was out of practice with his precision approach). To top it off, the plane had a portable Garmin 496 that was missing.
The owner was fit to be tied. He began questioning people on the flight line, and the story got more bizarre. Several people said, "the man that flew that Comanche was drunk"! Witnesses said the pilot stumbled out of the plane. While de-planing he unshamefully put two empty six packs on the ramp. Oddly enough, he thought it was completely appropriate to empty his "little john" right on the ramp. His last act was to take the portable GPS and quickly exit the airport, while a yellow stream from his little john made its way across the ramp. Do you hear the twilight zone music playing?
In his drunken stupor the pilot failed to realize this airport had surveillance cameras'. His drunken behavior was captured, along with his theft of the GPS, and his act of giving the ramp a golden shower. Naturally when confronted, he denied everything but changed his story when hearing about the cameras. His story was that he took the GPS to safeguard it from theft - how thoughtful. He attributed the other mess to vandals. You know the kind - the tobacco chewing, potato chip eating kind that use a little john when vandalizing a parked airplane. Clearly the gene pool need a little chlorine.
I apologized profusely to the owner, even promising I would buy him a new GPS and detail his plane. I monitored the flight on a flight tracking web site. It seemed after he departed my home airport, he landed 40 miles west for a short stop. We suspect to pick up his friend Mr. Budweiser. I also noticed he did not hold an altitude for more than 10 minutes. He porpoised between 6 and 4 thousand feet all the way back. It also showed that his flight became more and more erratic as it progressed. Everyone I tell this story to, even the old-timers, are amazed. Jaws drop. This guy made that crop duster in Independence Day look like a model pilot! The difference is Independence Day is a fictional movie, this ferry pilot is REAL!!
Did I learn anything? If someone is going to fly your airplane, make sure they are not drunk. Second - never dump your 'little john' on the ramp...you never know who is watching. This really is not a laughing matter - it could have been a disaster. Fortunately no one died, no one got hurt, and while the airplane was soiled (as was the ramp), it was not damaged. Being a pilot is serious business. The cheapest price is not always the best deal. We all cut corners in our lives - don't do it with your plane or your flying...or you might end up in the Twilight Zone!!
